SeedBlink Blog

When you hear "love languages," you might picture personal relationships, but this Valentine's Day, we're taking a look at it from the lenses of communication styles between investors and founders.

Just like in a healthy relationship, knowing how to express appreciation, share time, offer support, and even deliver thoughtful perks can help founders and investors improve their lives.

The origins of love languages

Dr. Gary Chapman popularized the concept of love languages in his bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages. Chapman identified that each person has a unique way of expressing and receiving love. His five categories include:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts
• Physical touch

Source: What Are The 5 Love Languages? Everything You Need To Know

While physical touch is important in personal relationships, we’ll focus on the first four from the relationship between investors and founders. The idea is simple: when you know the language someone “speaks” in terms of appreciation and support, you can communicate in a way that feels meaningful to them. This builds trust and mutual respect and lays the foundation for a strong relationship.

When applied to the startup ecosystem, they can serve as a roadmap for better communication between founders and investors. Instead of feeling like you’re speaking different languages, you both get to enjoy a partnership that’s tailored to your communication style.

Mapping love languages to investors & founders' communication

Let’s break down how these love languages translate into the communication dynamics between investors and founders and why they matter for both sides.

Words of affirmation

• Clear and positive feedback: A few encouraging words can go a long way. When an investor praises a founder’s innovative idea or acknowledges the hard work behind a project, it builds confidence and trust.
• Celebrating milestones: Whether landing a key client, launching a product or reaching a funding milestone, simple verbal or written recognition reinforces the value of the effort.
• Building a supportive culture: Regular, honest feedback helps create an environment where founders feel supported rather than scrutinized. Even small recognitions can keep morale high during tough times.

Quality time

• One-on-one meetings: Regular check-ins between founders and investors or strategy sessions allow for in-depth conversations about company progress, challenges, and what future ideas are the right action plan.
• Deep-dive strategy sessions: A dedicated time to discuss the company's growth includes performance reports and numbers, but a healthy conversation also includes ideas, feedback, and brainstorming sessions when needed.
• Building connections: Beyond scheduled meetings, we recommend you have spontaneous conversations because those random talks help you build personal connections and get to know your partners.

Acts of service

• Offering expertise: Investors can do more than just provide funds, they can share their know-how, offer strategic advice, and help founders navigate tough challenges.
• Facilitating introductions: One of the best things an investor can offer is access to their network. Connecting founders with potential partners, clients, or additional investors can open new opportunities.
• Hands-on assistance: Sometimes, the best support is rolling up your sleeves to refine a pitch deck or troubleshooting technical issues; these acts of service can mean a lot for a founder.

Receiving gifts

• Personalized updates: Investors might share exclusive insights or early access to market research to help founders fine-tune their strategy.
• Access to exclusive resources: This could be premium software, valuable data, invitations to industry events, or tangible benefits that add extra value.
• Sharing other perks: Sometimes, it’s about an opportunity, like attending a workshop, joining a private session with an industry expert, or networking at high-level events.

Common challenges and misunderstandings

Even with the best intentions, misunderstandings can occur when messages are misinterpreted. For instance, what one party sees as constructive criticism might be taken as a personal slight, or investors' need for frequent updates could feel like micromanagement to founders.

Here are some of the common challenges that can arise when founders and investors aren’t on the same page:

1. Different communication frequencies

Example: Investors might prefer regular updates and frequent check-ins, while founders may feel overwhelmed by too many meetings.

Impact: The mismatch can create frustration on both sides, where investors may feel out of the loop, and founders may feel micromanaged.

2. Assuming understanding without clarification

Example: Both founders and investors might assume that the other party understands their expectations without actually discussing them.

Impact: The misalignment can result in a loss of trust and directly impact revenue and company culture if these remain unsolved.

3. Disregarding passion and personal touch

Example: When communication is too focused on metrics and numbers, the personal touch or passion of the founders might get lost.

Impact: This can lead to a transactional relationship in which both parties feel they’re just checking boxes rather than building something meaningful.

4. Vague and ambiguous communication

Example: A founder may send a brief, general update without detailed context, expecting the investor to understand the situation, while the investor craves specific data and clear insights.

Impact: Vague updates can create confusion and misaligned expectations, leading to late actions or missed opportunities.

5. Lack of follow-up in decisions

Example: After a meeting, both parties might assume everyone is on the same page without documenting or confirming the agreed-upon actions.

Impact: Without clear follow-up, there can be misunderstandings or poor execution, which can impact important projects over time.

Communication tips for investors & founders

How founders can improve their relationships with investors:

• Be transparent: Openly discuss your wins and challenges because honesty about obstacles builds trust and genuine connection between people.
• Invite collaboration: Encourage investors to share their ideas and treat their input as a chance to explore fresh perspectives and strategies.
• Be flexible and proactive: Stay open to change and be ready to pivot when needed by focusing on finding a solution to the challenges you face.

How investors can improve their relationships with their portfolio companies:

• Define your role: Let founders know who you are, and how you plan to contribute through your network and personal connections, what industry insights you have, and what might be useful in your future collaboration. So, you can both have clear expectations from one another and better interactions.
• Offer industry insights: If, as an investor you have a deep expertise in a particular field and can easily understand what trends are impacting the market, we recommend you to share those early signs and trends with your founders. It can be good guidance in helping them how to develop their product grow their company, or go for opportunities they have not identified yet.
• Build a long-term partnership: Focus on creating a relationship beyond capital by getting to know your founders for who they really are, what their passions are, their motivations, and their dreams. Having a genuine interest in the people you are working with, rather than just quick regular check-ins on how is going, will help you have more effective communication and real connection.

If you are not sure what your main love language is, you can take a free online quiz to help you discover it, understand what it means, and how you can use it to better connect with people around you.